"Yes Sir"

December 21 2024, by Jacob Wolki
4 min reading time

What language do you allow your children to use when addressing you? Does it matter?

As usual, I'm an extremist and both directions.

Otto, Theo and I love to play fight & wrestle. One of the things that the boys will do to bait me into a fight is run past me, smack me and scream "YOU STINKING RATBAG!". When it's on, IT'S ON! They get thrown onto the couch, bashed with pillows, tickled all over and lots of wrestling. We have fun!

Do I mind that my children call me a Stinking Rat? No, I encourage it. I enjoy it.

Time and place. Nuance. Read the room. EQ.

On the flip side, if they need to be pulled into line I get a "Yes sir" from them by just raising my eyebrows.

Every now and then in public I can feel people bristling at my supposed "dominating authority" when my boys reply "yes sir" to a rebuke. I enjoy this too.

This week we were at the Vet with a litter of puppies getting health checks & microchips, etc.

I had the 3 children and they were being really good.

But a puppy did a wee on the ground, which sent them into a funny fit and then the energy started getting a bit much in the room. Theo started getting a bit rough with the pups.

I clicked my fingers and the boys looked at me. I pointed to the wall and they sat against the wall. I raised my eyebrows as if to say "really? here? Cmon guys" and Otto and Theo both said "yes sir" and sat there.

(All while Esme was still ripping around the room dragging a pup and laughing her head off. We have some work to do there lol)

I'm not saying this to brag about control or boundaries. I'm sure most western worldly parents would think that my boundaries for my children are simultaneously too loose and too strict - wrap your head around that one.

Often, push back from "commodity", "status quo" and "orthodoxy" is the exact signal I'm looking for. I look into society and I'm generally not impressed by what I see, why would I want acceptance and praise from people who have achieved precisely what I'm trying to avoid.

Mrs W and I learned very early on, mainly from conversations with elders, family and friends who are influential in our life, that children need firm boundaries.

How do you keep you cattle safe and off the highway? A fence. (Am I comparing children to cows? Yes)

We have chosen to have impenetrable boundaries for our children. It's an electrified ring lock fence with razor wire on the top - jail yard style.

But, the yard inside is vast, and you can't see the fence for the garden. (This is a metaphor, folks)

What do your children call you? Is "Sir" over the top?

"Yes Sir"

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FURTHER READING

December 21 2024, by Jacob Wolki "Yes Sir"

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