Father, not friend.

Today I took my 2 eldest, Otto (8) and Theo (5) to work with me. 

I endeavour to take my children to work with me as often as I can, when scheduling allows.

The interactions, experience, conversation and subsequent learning for them is unparalleled. It’s something that’s important to Mrs W and I, and we have worked hard to create the space and opportunity for this in our lives.

This morning, at the butchery, Theodore came up to me and gave me a big cuddle and said “Dad, I love you”. Theo wears his heart on his sleeve and is always ready to receive a cuddle and some kind words. After a quick cuddle and an “I love you too buddy”, Theo hit me with “You’re my best friend”.

I’m not going to engage in semantics with a 5 year old, and I’m certainly not going to correct him by telling me that we aren’t best friends. If that’s his sentiment, and how he feels, it’s a beautiful thing.

I stopped working on my laptop and turned to him. “We are great friends, aren’t we bud? Do you know what is even better than me being your best friend? Me being your FATHER!
See, you can become best friends with anyone, I can too. But I’m your only dad, and you’ll always be my son. See how special that is?”

Theo thought it was amazing, and went away staring into the sky. I’d like to think that he was having deep thoughts about this profound concept I just shared, but in reality he was probably just thinking about how cool it would be to be able to fly.

I reject the premise that our children are meant to be our best friends. 
I reject that that relationship is the highest and most beautiful relationship available.
I wouldn’t speak and act towards any of my friends the way I do to my children.

I’m Theo’s father. That includes responsibility, duty, correction, clothing, feeding, educating, loving, disciplining. Unconditional protection and guidance. Friends are great, children are amazing.

I think back to being a child and spending time with my paternal grandparents, who I affectionately named “Bebe (grandma) and Baba (grandpa)”. Their home was the most incredible and special place in the world to me. I had so much fun there. I have so many stories and memories. 

Bebe used to tell me “Jake, never do drugs. People go silly on them, they will ruin your life. Promise me, never do drugs. Never never never never never. But if you ever do, and you’re in trouble. Call your Grandpa. You won’t be in trouble, he will fix it. He will fix everything, just call him first”.

Sitting here writing this I’ve become emotional, as I feel so fortunate to have had that unconditional love and protection in my life. It’s easy growing up to think that it’s the norm, but now as a father of 4 I realise that I was the recipient of one of the most beautiful things in the world - a loving family. 

Otto, Theo, Esme and Royce. Stay safe. Don’t get in trouble. Don’t do the things I’ve instructed you not to. Keep your nose clean.
But if you’re even in trouble, call your Dad. I’ll save you.

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